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In our world we are often told that what we do is never enough, and that we must rush, rush, rush onto the next goal, task, or obligation. Whether it is coming home after a long day at work, to then cleaning our place and quickly fixing dinner, or finishing a tough day at school and then having to complete homework assignments and essays, the time that we spend focusing on nourishing and replenishing ourselves is often slim to none. Most of us believe, and buy into, the idea that there is no time for breaks, no time for managing our emotions, and no time to decompress\u2014yet that simply is not true.<\/p>\n
Self-care is a human need.<\/em>\u00a0Rest, relaxation, and recuperation are always needed in life, however where do you start when it comes to engaging self-care?<\/p>\n With this definition, please note that burnout usually stems from stress and frustration. Underlying these might be anxiety, anger, and\/or sadness. When you carry stress with you (or any of these emotions for that matter) it is contained in your body and does not escape unless you let it and\u00a0work to get it out. In other words, the stress stays until you focus on it and take care of it.<\/p>\n When beginning to explore self-care, first reflect on and identify what your burn-out looks like. According to Merriam-Webster, burnout is defined as\u00a0exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.<\/p>\n Burnout can include a multitude of symptoms. The most common tend to be the following:<\/p>\n It is important to note, burnout is not simply feeling tired from a long day of work, but rather an exhaustion that can seep into your body, mind, and, some would even say, your spirit. Now that you know what burnout is, you can recognize it and work on it\u2014and also work to not avoid or push the feeling of burnout to the side, because it could build up and increase in difficulty.<\/p>\n You can be kind to yourself at any moment and in any space. There is freedom to engage in this kindness 24\/7, anywhere you wish.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n If you do not effort to manage stress for whichever reason you might have [i.e. too busy (avoidance), you do not mind the stress, you know you can muster through without change (denial), you will do just one more thing first (bargaining), etc.] then that stress can build upon itself and you may eventually experience burnout.<\/p>\n When I first truly learned about burnout and self-care, I was a graduate student. I was working full-time and taking night and weekend classes. If someone mentioned the need for self-care, I would internally cringe and a list of thoughts would start, including,\u00a0I do not have money for massages,\u00a0I do not have time to just relax, and\u00a0I can not even find time to attend yoga classes.<\/p>\n In short, my defenses would go up, and subsequently the term\u00a0self-care\u00a0only worked to make me feel worse\u2014does this sound familiar to you?<\/p>\n In response, I consciously decided to use the phrase\u00a0being kind to myself<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0as an informal protest to what I had previously considered as defining self-care, to help me move away from the notion that self-care was only for those who have money and time to kill.<\/p>\n In working to resolve my longtime difficulties with the\u00a0term\u00a0self-care, I can actually\u00a0use\u00a0self-care. Now, I enjoy the purpose of the term, and I often use the phrase\u00a0being kind to myself, and I enjoy introducing people this phrase of kindness.<\/p>\n When I work with clients, I detail out the differences between\u00a0self-care\u00a0and\u00a0being kind to yourself. I hope that you will let me do help you gain understanding in how you can\u00a0be kindness to yourself.<\/p>\n To me, self-care are the things you do\u00a0externally\u00a0<\/em>to make sure you are being healthy, expressing your emotions, and learning to let go.<\/p>\n Self-care can include activities, rituals, and practices that target all aspects of yourself, including but not limited to:<\/p>\n Self-care practices may include:<\/p>\n You probably noticed that some of the aforementioned self-care activities require time, money, and certain privileges, and while that does not deem self-care as unnecessary or unjust, it does influence one to be more mindful of what they can or cannot engage in. I imagine you certainly do not want stress to become increased because you might not always be able to easily engage in self-care. In other words, becoming stressed\u00a0about\u00a0stress or becoming more stressed about not always having easy access to things that help to de-stress could tend towards becoming a vicious cycle of burnout.<\/p>\n How can you actually be kind to yourself? Being kind to yourself does not necessarily mean simply indulging in external things that feel good, and instead being kind to yourself includes\u00a0focusing in on your internal dialogue.<\/p>\n You can be kind to yourself at any moment and in any space. There is freedom to engage in this kindness 24\/7, anywhere you wish.<\/p>\n Being kind to yourself is exactly what it sounds like. Acknowledge to yourself that you are human and allow yourself to be imperfect. Indulge every now and then. Forgive yourself for not always being 100% your best.<\/p>\n In our world today I see so much information on health, fitness, mindfulness, and even meditation, however sometimes the structure built around self-care can actually bring about\u00a0perfectionism, which could then diminish being kindness to yourself. In order to be healthy you need\u00a0balance, and that includes honoring your present feelings and embracing imperfection at times.In our world today I see so much information on health, fitness, mindfulness, and even meditation, however sometimes the structure built around self-care can actually bring about\u00a0perfectionism, which could then diminish being kindness to yourself. In order to be healthy you need\u00a0balance, and that includes honoring your present feelings and embracing imperfection at times.<\/p>\n There may be challenges. If stress leads to burnout, and burnout should lead you to self-care and kindness, then you should feel better right? So how come you do not always feel better? This brings me to consider the challenges and road-blocks between burnout, self-care, and healing.<\/p>\n Remember, burnout is a build-up of stress and tension, and if you also do not adjust and change to better cope with stress an tension, then the build-up will keep occurring.<\/p>\n Here is a list of things to consider, they are things that could influence burnout or things that might be a signal to you that something in your life needs to change. Ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n If any of these questions hit home for you, some reflection may be needed.<\/p>\nFirst, What Is Burnout?<\/h2>\n
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Self-Care vs Being Kind to Yourself<\/h2>\n
Self-Care<\/h2>\n
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Volunteering<\/li>\nKindness (What we really want to talk about)<\/h2>\n
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Challenges<\/h2>\n
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Reach Out For Support<\/h2>\n